Do I quit my job b/c my fiance wants me to?

OK so...I work in a bar - it's not in the best of neighborhoods, it can get some random not so great people in there but for the most part it's a decent bar. He's come in a handful of times %26amp; each time something different set him off - mind you he's a man with a good head on his shoulders %26amp; only wants what's best for me. He'd rather I work in another bar - it has nothing to do with me being a bartender %26amp; him trying to control me - he loves me %26amp; trusts me and I know he only wants what is best for me %26amp; wants me safe. My issue is if I leave I wont get the hours that I want %26amp; have now as a SR bartender %26amp; I don't have to dress like a slut where I work either... I want him to be happy %26amp; know that I'm OK but I don't seem to do good at convincing him.

Do I quit my job b/c my fiance wants me to?
I say is he more important that your job or the money? this should be your answear wouldn't you think? I would ask him how the $ thing is going to go after your married! tell him you can dress better at home but he needs to pay some tips! lol good luck.
Reply:Sounds to me that you already know deep inside yourself what you should do. You said yourself your fiance has a good head on his shoulders. If it makes him feel uncomfortable, you should consider his concerns and start looking for work somewhere else. Once you get married it'll constantly be a battle if you don't make a change. There are plenty of jobs out there that can accommodate your schedule, even if it is outside of bar tending. Ask yourself what is more important, your fiance, or your current job? I don't believe he would ask you to quit unless there was a good reason. Marriage is a compromise. Would you rather start at the bottom of the ladder now, or wait another few years?
Reply:If hes worried about sleazy guys hitting on you and such, then he should know it would happen no matter which bar you work at. If you go to another bar where they get you to dress slutty, it will actually happen more often.





If you are sure he trusts you, then assure him that youre never there alone. If it makes him feel better, suggest that he picks you up from work so that he knows you will be safe.





You shouldnt leave the job if it suits your needs.
Reply:it's your life, not his. if he's so worried about your safety.. he can hang out with you while you're at work. i don't see you trying to tell him where he can and can't work.





oh and ps- i had a similar situation with an ex. come to find out, he WAS controlling. this was just a way to get the ball rolling. watch out for him.
Reply:This sounds like the first step in his mission to control you. (I know you said it wasn't but trust me, I've been there) Telling you this bar isn't safe enough, you leave and find another bar to work at then he will find fault with that one. Then it will be something else.





If you give in and lose a job you love for a man who may or may not stick around, you will regret it. Him losing his cool when he comes to your work isn't cool either. Tell him you love him but you love your job also. If he truly wants you happy, then he will support you working there.





Stick to your guns.
Reply:It sounds like you care about each other very much. I hope your fiance knows how much you care about his feeling. Your considering leaving a job where your the senior bartender, and enjoy just so he won't be unhappy, Wow he's a lucky man. The fact is you need to convince him your OK where your at, you've payed your dues and worked hard to get where your at, it would be foolish to give your job up. I know you don't want him to be unhappy, but who's to say certain things at a new bar won't set him off also. Just because your in a better area of town or a classier bar doesn't mean your any safer, bad things can happen anywhere. You need to convince him that you care about your safety as much as he does, and if you felt there was any danger you would quit. Let him Know you love him very much and don't want him to be unhappy, but he's really asking to much. He would never forgive himself if you quit your job for him and something happened to you at the new one. You said he only wants what is best for you and wants you safe. The fact is your a big girl now, and probably know better than him what is best for you, and you already said you know your OK where your at. You may want your fiance to be happy, but you can't make yourself unhappy to do it. You said he's not trying to control you, if this is true he will except whatever decision you make. Good Luck.